On Some Dumb Shit:A Read

The first three weeks of the Spain part of the Europe have been about getting back into a regular routine and adjusting to the culture and language, made easier by my one year in Costa Rica. My understanding of spanish, has come back to me almost in full, I´ve adjusted to the spanish accent, and now I'm more willing to step outside of my comfort zone, going to different places alone and talking to people. I also have my ethnographic research class to thank through, our weekly assignments are to observe spanish culture, so I use that as an opportunity to plan day-night trips, and that usually gives me the confidence to overstep anything that would usually become a barrier, (so like anything).

My host family has been really kind, host mom knows how to throw down in the spanish kitchen, paella and pistal all day, her and her husband are all around kind people, nevermind some of their strange opinions about the state's, handed to them by the years and years of exchange students spending semesters with them.

But I'm fired the fuck up right now.

Right now, I will tell you the short story of a very long, familiar, tiring story.

Let the facts be known, there are only two black people taking classes at the Instituto Franklin this semester, in my immediate program. Me and another girl. In total, I believe we are all 5, the only time we've all been in the same room together was during orientation 3 weeks ago.

It was in the afternoon during a weekday. Classes had ended for the day and my friend waited in a public office near the school, when it registered to her, that someone was speaking English, loudly and tuned in, in the middle of their conversation. ¨¨ yea K, only hangs out with the other black girl in the program, I think they went to get their hair done last week, or something. The woman sitting beside the girl, who seemed to be an advisor from her program began shaking her head. The girl continued yea, she really doesn't hang out with anybody else and she's pretty antisocial, I feel like she's self segregating. He program director began speaking She can't do that, I understand that she's had some misunderstandings with her host family, but she came into it with a bad attitude, and she can't do that. I know the girl said, like, I'm sensitive, but not to racial stuff, she just needs to get over it.¨¨ and with that the conversation ended.

My friend rushed to tell me the next morning, sure the girl was speaking about me, the aforementioned other black girl, after hearing the story I realized it wasn't me because I didn't have any hair to ¨¨do¨¨ I fumed while hearing the details and felt agitated for the rest of the day, throughout all of my classes that day I kept thinking about the event that transpired the day before. Also in my memory that white girl and K were supposedly friends, as a friends shouldn't you try to understand her instead of dismissing her as too sensitive? And to racial issues? There were so many things wrong with what she said but first:

Who said the only reason they were friends is because they are black? White people are only friends with white people all the time, why wouldn't it be equally as logical to assume that white people are only friends with other white people because they are white? Because that's ridiculous, White people are a complex people that are able to enjoy other parts of a person other than race. They can bond over music, political views, fashion and other interests, but black people aren't afforded the same complexity. This goes back to Melissa Harris Perry{s argument about the gaze of the majority race on the minority. It is inherently political as the observation of whiteness and blackness is layered with racism, prejudice, and or latent bias. The second that a white person views the social connections that a black person makes, they are linking it to forms of militancy, of separatism, and now it's safe to assume that she's anti white, and self-segregating. The gaze of the white person, follows white people and the politically black alike, outside of U.S. soil. When abroad, I observe the recreation of certain statutes and systems that, given the unique history of the U,S only exist in the U.S and should not automatically apply in other countries.

There is value in traveling with people in similar circumstances that you are everyone knows this. That's why there are so many travelers groups, for sorority girls, for adventure lovers, for yoga practitioners, old people and young people. That's why schools that have abroad programs make sure students feel supported and safe, by placing them in host families with people of the student's choosing. Its why they plan explorative activities for an entire group. And it is most likely why the study abroad students at the Instituto Franklin no longer share any classes with spanish national students. It is helpful to know that you can still belong to a community of your people when you are abroad. For black women, camaraderie with other black women has given us the opportunity, or allowed us the space, to remove the mask. The mask, as I was introduced to it by Melissa V Harris Perry, refers to a ¨¨rigidly controlled public performance¨¨ that Black women are in some ways forced to wear in public to be considered respectable people in American society. This amounts to the simplification or erasure of the complex realities that black women in the United States face in their day to day lives, in order be a validated, accepted people at work, school and in other social settings. While abroad, the need for the mask resurfaces. Whether that be in the presence of the white facilitators, faculty, and student body, or In the presence of Non Americans who carry their own bias of foreigners, but specifically black people, as globally, blackness is still considered dirty, untrustworthy and violent. Becoming friends with people in similar situations as yourself is necessary to reconcile with some of the turbulent feelings of culture shock, but like any way.

It is none of her business that K only befriends other black people.

I was straight angry when I was told this information. Immediately I questioned why this black girl's culture shock was simply being dismissed as an attitude problem. When in what feels like anybody else, in any other situation someone would have been able to step in and identify it as culture shock. It is still easy to dismiss the concerns and intersection of issues that occur in the lives of political black or the other. In a phenomenon already as jarring as culture shock, the fact that race or sexuality could complicate it even further deters people , administration especially from investigating it further because that would mean development of new resources, a revision of culture shock guides and materials and ¨individualised resourcesÑ that an other doesnt get access to although they pay their tuition just like everybody else.

What struck me the most was the passivity with which the conversation took place. The white girl seemed to have been speaking from a place of concern, and the teacher seemed to agree ,also from a place of knowing. So how do you approach a situation like that without putting the person in defense mode? How do you facilitate meaningful dialogue? When do you let it slide?

And as for her most famous comment of the day, I have little time for it. It only reflects the level of immaturity and ignorance that plagues student bodies of higher education institutions. For some students, time abroad only separates them from the realities that the other in their own countries face. Rather than continue to view the world critically and comparatively they become even more ignorant. Some may welcome it. They may feel like they can now say and do things that would have otherwise landed them in serious trouble in the states, they may feel free in some ways. For the other, it is rarely so. I can speak from experience, When you are dealing with global perceptions of other it is a whole other ball game, and a whole other side step to constantly be aware of. We go to countries where we are still considered the other, the minority, lower class or subordinate, we can draw so many parallels between the treatment of our people here to the treatment of our people in the states. To study abroad as an other, and to believe that it is a break from prejudice and discrimination is a fantasy. To see traveling as taking a break from that is a privilege