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So I've been using Tinder since my Senior Year of High School, but when I say use, I done mean using it with success No, no. I didn't actually go out with a Tinder boy until my first semester of college in Costa Rica (details coming soon). In High School, all I did really was swipe right/left, chat a little bit, then hand it off to my wild friends for some laughs.

Das it.

Fast forward to Costa Rica, where Tinder turned out to be a major source for hookups (of course) but also for meeting new people, new friends, artist collaborators, travel buddies, to visit new places, bars, clubs, weekend get-aways what have you.... not exaaaactly for me in particular, but that's the impact Tinder has had for various of my classmates.

I would say that Costa Rica has definitely been a sexual awakening for me, and of my own choosing. Having my own space, having the option to come home at 4 am or even leave the house at 1 am with no questions asked made sexapades easy, and while I didn't get it in at every moment that I could, having the option there did impact my willingness to try things..... And I tried things (HAAAAAA * cue tongue* I ain't too young ;) )

Where I was preoccupied to the point of paranoia about HIV/ AIDS in particular ( although black women only make up 17% of the female population in the United States, we make up 75% of all newly reported cases of HIV each year) I began to see where my sex education was inundated with fear mongering, not that these statistics aren't true, and there isn't some risk involved at each new sexual encounter, but likewise, walking down the street is a risk, driving over bridges are a risk, breathing ... in this geological era.. is a risk. And of all things, I shouldn't be afraid of sex, its the reason that we're all here, its one of the most natural things in the world. and as long as I'm taking care of myself.. what should hold me back from having sex when I want, with whomever I want?

That being said .. I've never climaxed before. And I know my sexual liberation front is new and all, but when I talk to people and realize how common it is for sexual active women in their young 20's to not experience orgasm, I'm a little ? confundida. And it makes sense, but in the most ridiculous ways..

Back to my sex education, which may sound identical to your sex education, its that , in the 5th grade, when some girls have been started menstruating, growing boobs and shit, been having questions they ain't had no body to really ask, unless you grew up with a computer in your room like I did, the school nurse separated all the boys and the girls of the grade to talk about Sex. Boys got the wet dreams explanation, the "you're not weird, its okay, to dream about girls you like.." and girls got the " this is what your ovaries look like" "This is where the sperm travels to fertilize the egg" "That's when your pregnant" Little Sally had to drop out of school when she got pregnant, don't be little sally... and he doesn't love you, so wear a condom.

But can we talk about that though? How was I getting some straight up Web MD course material while the boys were getting chicken soup for the teenage boy soul?

So when you have kids going through that bullshit education, its no wonder that, in a heterosexual relationship women * (also a disclaimer, throughout the post I have discuss the shortcomings of sex-ed from the perspective of a cis-gender heterosexual female, but sex-education tend to fail trans gendered children and teens as well as queer teens with no representation in standard course materials.) will orgasm less than their counterparts. Men are reinforced with the notion that sex is for pleasure, and women get bogged down with the info, the risks, the spreadsheets, calculations, if i skipped my pill 4 hours after I had sex and the moon was on the left side of west bank and my period is supposed to start at the peak of sun rise, will I get pregnant with twins? and yahoo answers expert replies "well not twins... but..."

Bottom line is, women aren't taught that sex is for pleasure, for them... but its for pleasure for men.

Most woman need some clitoral stimulation to climax,

but anatomy of the outer female genitalia isn't covered in many sex ed curriculum. I remember I discovered my clitoris by accident, I might have been 4 or 5 , and I felt a tingling in my hoo ha, so I shoved my hand in to see whats the matter.. and I felt the flesh bump... I didn't know what it was called until the 8th or 9th grade... and in the 10th grade, orange is the new black taught me that females don't pee from their vaginas

lacking is to say the least

a giant failure is still being kind

I found a ridiculous quote

" A hand job's a man's job... but a blow job is yo' job"

which is kind of funny, but in a way that doesn't make me laugh.

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